When Bikers Finally Fight Back Against Rude Karens!
I Am the Karen in That Video. I Was Wrong, and Then Something Worse Happened.
I want to start with the part that most people in my position skip, which is that the video is accurate. I said those things. I said them in that tone, to those men, in that parking lot, and the clip is not edited misleadingly and there is no missing context that makes me the hero. I was rude. I was loud. It is on camera and it is exactly what it looks like.
My name is Charlotte and everyone calls me Char. I am forty six, I manage a dental office, and for about nine days four years ago I was one of the most hated women on the internet, which is a sentence I still cannot say out loud without something happening in my chest.
Here is what happened, told properly.
My mother has advanced Parkinson's and lives in a care facility about twenty minutes from my house. She uses a wheelchair, and getting her in and out of a vehicle requires a specific kind of space, which is why that building has a marked loading zone at the front with a striped access aisle beside it.
That Sunday there were four motorcycles parked in the access aisle. Not the loading zone itself. The striped part beside it, which most people assume is decorative and which is actually the entire reason a wheelchair ramp can deploy.
I had my mother in the van. She had a bad morning, which with Parkinson's means something I am not going to try to explain to people who have not lived with it. I had already been at the facility for four hours. I was, in the language of the internet, having a day.
And I got out of that van and I did not say excuse me, and I did not say those bikes are in the access aisle, and I did not say any of the eleven reasonable things a calm person would have said. I went straight to the worst version, in the loudest voice I have, and I called four men I had never met a word I would ground my daughter for using.
That is the clip. That is what people saw.
What people did not see, and what does not excuse a single thing, is that ninety seconds after the camera stopped, one of those men moved his bike, and then all four of them moved, and then two of them helped me deploy the ramp because it sticks in cold weather.
I did not thank them. I was too far into my own adrenaline to climb back down, and I got my mother inside and I sat in the family lounge and shook for twenty minutes.
The video went up that night.
By Tuesday it had five million views. By Wednesday it had been reposted into compilations with titles about bikers finally fighting back, and my face was in a thumbnail with a red circle drawn around it, and the word in the caption was the one everybody uses.
I want to describe what that is actually like, because I think people imagine it as embarrassment and it is not embarrassment. It is closer to standing in a field during a hailstorm. It comes from every direction at once and there is nothing to get under.
My workplace got calls. Not a few. Hundreds, over about a week, to a dental office with two receptionists, one of whom was nineteen years old and cried in the break room on Thursday because a man had described what should happen to me in detail.
I was put on unpaid leave, which I do not blame them for. They had patients trying to reschedule cleanings and could not get through their own phone lines. I would have made the same call.
Someone found my address. Someone else found my mother's care facility and called the front desk to ask whether they knew what kind of person had a relative living there. A woman who works nights at that facility, who has nothing to do with any of this, spent an hour on the phone with a stranger who wanted her to be outraged.
And then it landed on Poppy.
My daughter was sixteen. She had not been in that parking lot. She had not been in the van. She had been at a friend's house doing absolutely nothing except being a sixteen year old on a Sunday, and by Thursday her full name was in comment sections.
They found her school. They found her social accounts and filled them until she deleted everything. Somebody made a fake account using her photograph. There is a particular kind of cruelty that gets aimed at teenage girls online and I am not going to reproduce any of it here, and I read all of it at the time because I could not stop myself.
She stopped going to school for eleven days. She sat in her room with the door closed and I sat in the hallway outside it, and I did not have one single useful thing to say, because the honest answer to why is this happening to me was that it was happening to her because of me.
That is the part I would want anybody sharing one of these videos to sit with for a second. The person in the thumbnail is not the only one who receives it. It goes to their kids, their coworkers, the nineteen year old who answers their office phone, and the night staff at their mother's care home.
I deserved consequences. I want to be very clear that I am not arguing otherwise, and I have never once argued otherwise. What I could not work out then, and still cannot entirely work out now, is what my daughter did.
The thing that changed the trajectory of all of this was a message from a man named Angel Dumond.
Angel was one of the four riders. He was the one who filmed it, on a helmet camera he had been running that whole day, and he had shown the footage to his friends that evening the way anyone would.
He did not post it. A guy they ride with, who goes by Rooster and who was not even in the parking lot, asked him to send it, and then put it up on his own account with the caption. Angel found out it existed the same way I did, which was when it was already at two million views.
He messaged me on the ninth day. He said he was not writing to accept an apology and he was not writing to tell me I was a good person. He said he had seen that people had gotten to my kid, and that whatever I had said to him in that parking lot, his problem was not with a sixteen year old.
Then he told me something that reframed the entire thing for me.
Angel had been in a viral video himself. Six years earlier, in a completely different state, in a road rage incident where he had gotten off his bike and put his hands on a car. He had been wrong that day too, and he had been the villain of a clip that did about eight hundred thousand views, and he had lost a job over it.
He said the thing that stayed with me. He said, once you have been the guy in the video, you can never really enjoy watching one again.
He and Rooster had an argument about it that apparently ended their friendship for about a year. Rooster's position was that I had said what I said and I could live with the results. Angel's position was that he had been the guy in the video and knew exactly how far past the person it travels.
I do not think either of them was entirely wrong, for what that is worth.
Angel asked Rooster to take it down. Rooster eventually did, months later, at which point it existed on somewhere between forty and a hundred other channels and the takedown accomplished nothing. That is the thing about these clips. There is no off switch. There is no central authority. It is not on a website, it is in an ecosystem.
I wrote apologies. Two of them. The first one was bad, and I want to describe why, because I think most public apologies fail in the same way.
My first attempt explained about my mother. It explained about the four hours and the Parkinson's and the access aisle and the cold weather and the ramp. Every word of it was true and the entire thing was worthless, because an apology that explains is not an apology, it is a defense with softer punctuation.
The second one had no explanation in it at all. It said what I said, that it was unacceptable, that the men in that parking lot had done nothing to deserve it, and that I was sorry. That one was three sentences long and it took me two weeks to be able to write it.
I sent it to Angel, and he sent it to the other three, and one of them replied and two of them did not, which is entirely their right and I have never once thought otherwise.
Poppy went back to school. She is twenty now. She is fine, mostly, in the way that people are fine after something like that, which is to say there is a particular kind of caution she has around the internet that she did not have when she was fifteen, and I put that there.
I went back to work after six weeks. My employer was decent about it in a way I did not expect and have never adequately thanked them for.
Here is where I have landed, four years out, and I offer it carefully because I know exactly what I sound like.
I am not asking anybody to stop holding people accountable for behaving badly in public. I behaved badly in public. If somebody had filmed that and shown it to me, or sent it to my employer, or shown it to the four men so they could decide what they wanted to do about it, all of that would have been proportionate and I would have deserved it.
What happened instead was not accountability. It was a product. Somebody took forty seconds of the worst behavior of my adult life, put a label on it, and monetized it into a two hour video, and thousands of people who will never meet me got a small pleasant hit of righteousness from it while my daughter stopped leaving her room.
Those are different things. One of them is a society keeping itself in order. The other one is entertainment wearing that as a costume.
And here is the part I think about most. If you had asked me, five years ago, what I thought of those compilations, I would have told you they were funny. I watched them. I sent them to people. I have almost certainly laughed at a woman in a thumbnail who was having the worst forty seconds of her year, and I never once wondered what happened to her afterward, because the format is specifically designed so that you never find out.
I found out. That is the only qualification I have for writing any of this.
Angel and I are not friends, which I want to be honest about because the tidy version of this story would have us become friends. We are two people who were in the same parking lot on a bad day and who ended up on opposite ends of the same machine.
But we did one thing together. His riding group does a toy run every December for the children's hospital, and four years ago they were short on people to handle registration and paperwork, which is exactly the kind of tedious administrative work I am extremely good at.
I have done it every year since. I sit at a folding table in a cold parking lot for six hours and check people in. Nobody there makes a thing of it. A few of them know exactly who I am and have decided it does not need to be a conversation, which is a kind of grace I did not know existed until I received it.
My mother died two years ago. Angel came. He stood at the back and left before the reception, and I did not find out he had been there until somebody mentioned it a week later.
So, the last thing.
There is going to be another video. There is always another video, and it will be somebody having the worst forty seconds of their year, and the label in the thumbnail will already have told you what to think before the audio starts.
Maybe they earned it. I earned mine. That is genuinely possible and I am not asking you to assume innocence.
I am asking you to remember that there is a sixteen year old somewhere who did not earn any of it, and that she is going to get most of it anyway, and that nothing in the video will ever tell you she exists.
The footage everyone saw is below. Watch it if you want. I am not going to ask you not to.
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